I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
