he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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