Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
