i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dick very happy bro
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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