I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
