i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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