Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize