I think im going to throw up on grandma
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
