found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
