just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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