Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
