Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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