My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Randomize
