dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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