You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize