Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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