The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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