Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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