You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
