Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
