She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize