Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They took my balls.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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