you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
that is very illegal...i love you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
