i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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