I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
