I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
