dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
