Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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