i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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