You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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