if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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