i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize