then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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