What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
