no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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