There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
