thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
