Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
