We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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