why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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