after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
