thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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