Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
