Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
