why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
