my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
