They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
