One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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