i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
