sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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