it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
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