I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Im just a social blackout drinker.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
