My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
