Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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