EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
