Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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