some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
