so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
