All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
