I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
