you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I would fuck him just for his dog
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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