You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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