I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
