I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
