K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
